Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Rejected Watch Company Slogans

Watchmakers have great slogans. Even your non-watch-collecting English teacher would have admired Patek Philippe's "You never actually own a Patek Philippe. You merely look after it for the next generation." Brilliant, isn't it?

Rolex has had numerous slogans over the year, such as:

"Men who guide the destinies of the world wear Rolex watches”; "It doesn’t just tell time. It tells history"; "The crown of achievement"; and "An obsession with perfection."

Other watch companies have equally penetrating slogans:

"This is why you work long hours and weekends."
Photo from Maurice Lacroix
Omega: "Omega. The sign of excellence."

Ball Watch Company:  "Since 1891, accuracy under adverse conditions."

International Watch Company: “The engineer of fine watchmaking."

Chopard: "Time, incomparably crafted."

Longines: "Elegance is an attitude."

Breitling: "Breitling. Instruments for professionals."

Audemars Piguet: "The watch of your life."

Panerai: "Panerai. Where ideas come to life."

Girard-Perregaux: "Watches for the few since 1791."

I'm sure that we'll soon see a slogan like, "Apple may have smartwatches, but smart people buy our watch."

But what about those slogans that didn't make to the winner’s box? If we could go back in time, I'm sure we'd find a lot of watch slogan ideas that received more than a few thumbs down. Slogan ideas that stunted the careers of junior advertising executives. I've put on my time travel cape and visited the meeting rooms of various watch companies to find this collection of rejected watch slogans.

Unaffordable elegance.

More accurate than you'll ever be.

Slimness you can only dream of.

A watch that will outlive you by 50 years.

The way to stop a bad guy with a gun is to give him your watch.

You learned to tell time for a reason. Make your second-grade teacher happy.

Great statesmen and dictators have worn our watch, because quality knows no ideology.

The truth is, you want people to notice your watch, and they will.

Your friends will be impressed when you answer their question, "How much was that watch?"

When your retirement day comes, you can enjoy watching the hours tick by.

Watches so beautiful you won't care how long that meeting lasts.

A watch for the one percent.

Water resistant to the bottom of the ocean, and the bottom of your toilet, too.

This is why you work long hours and weekends.

A slogan for unstable parts of the world: "The safest and fastest way to get your money out of the country."

A. Lange & Sohne: When the divorce comes, you'll still have your A. Lange & Sohne.

Hublot: Who needs sex when you own a Hublot?

Rolex: The Dalai Lama owns 15 Rolexes. Shouldn't you own one?*

Omega: If our watch got men to the moon, it will get you to your flight on time.

*The Dalai Lama really does own 15 Rolex watches.

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